yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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