this just has baby written all over it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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