There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize