i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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