You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize