omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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