i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize