girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
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Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Send help, water and tortillas.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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