I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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