I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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