thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize