I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize