Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize