I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
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Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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