I want to walk on stilts...naked
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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