The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize