nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need a beard to bite.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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