I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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