he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
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