We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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