i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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