do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
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He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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