so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I just put wine in my tea
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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