if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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