Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize