i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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