Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Fuck appropriateness.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
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Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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