So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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