She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize