i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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