There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
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I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
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ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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