ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I didn't notice because vodka
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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