There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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