took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize