I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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