I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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