I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize