our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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