I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize