there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
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I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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