i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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