Pants 0. Shit 1.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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