went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize