This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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