dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My dick has a subreddit
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize