My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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