We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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