I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my being single is dangerous.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize