I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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