just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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