and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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